


Basic rules for dating a Midgardian

by boleyn13



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avenger Loki, Clint is a dating expert, Cultural Differences, Dating, M/M, Post-Avengers: Age of Ultron (Movie), Relationship Advice
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-04
Updated: 2015-11-04
Packaged: 2018-04-30 02:00:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,210
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5146118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boleyn13/pseuds/boleyn13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loki asks Clint how dating works. Clint reluctantly explains it to him and he might have got some details wrong. Some major details.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Basic rules for dating a Midgardian

**Author's Note:**

> Have fun :D

There was simply no way that Clint had heard correctly. No, this kind of bullshit didn’t exist, not even in his fucked up life. So Clint only blinked at Loki and slowly shook his head. “You gotta be fucking kidding me.”

Loki did what he usually did, raising one eyebrow in that way that made sure the person he was talking to knew they were the stupid one, not him. “I don’t see anything extraordinary about my request.”

“You have to be fucking kidding me. I didn’t hear right, that’s it.”

“I asked you to explain the Midgaridan courting traditions and rules to me.” Said a second time it sounded even stupider and Clint reacted the only appropriate way. He turned around and left.

 *** 

Ducking an attack from Natasha Clint felt like now was the perfect time for addressing a rather strange subject that absolutely had to be addressed. “Our back-up plan in case Loki turns back evil is still ready to be put into action any time, right?”

Natasha reacted with delivering a punch that knocked Clint of his feet and he landed uncomfortably on his back. Of course she wouldn’t give him even a second, so when Clint was still groaning in pain, Natasha was on top of him, her hand on his throat. Her face was so relaxed, like she didn’t have to use the least bit of effort. “Sure. Anything we have to worry about?”

“Yeah, he is losing his mind.” Clint kicked her in the stomach and got back on his feet.

Brushing her hair out her face Natasha shrugged. “How so?”

“He is asking weird stuff.”

“Yesterday Thor complained about the fact that we named the planets after Roman gods and not after him or Loki. Weirder than that?”

“Hell yeah.”

“Too bad. Playing poker with him is a lot of fun. He’s the only one that’s not so incredibly easy to beat.”

Clint rolled his eyes at that and of course Natasha wasn’t playing fair. He was back on his back and she decided that she had won. “What did he ask anyway?” Not that she actually looked interested.

The mere memory caused Clint to pull a face. “He wanted some dating advice, I guess.”

Natasha’s reaction wasn’t satisfying at all. Instead of getting their entire weapon arsenal, because Loki had obviously gone crazy again, she only quirked an eyebrow. Then without a single word, she turned around and left the gym.

“Yeah, I said that too.”

 ***

Clint took in his target, was about to let go of the arrow, when…

“I think I should let you know that I felt very insulted by the way you treated my request. I don’t react too kindly when I’m feeling insulted.”

Sighing loudly Clint lowered his bow and arrow and turned his head to look at Loki. Arms crossed in front of his chest, looking like a diva with that pissed expression on his face. Damn, why was it always Clint? “Seriously, Loki? I’m trying to do some target practice.”

“I want to talk.”

Stubborn son of a bitch. “Okay, fine. I’m also feeling insulted that you feel the need to make fun of me.”

A slight frown appeared on Loki’s forehead. “Why should I be making fun of you? I prefer making fun of Stark. He’s a much easier target.”

“Fine, that’s a good point. So go back making fun of Tony and leave me alone with your stupid questions.” It was dangerous to use this word in Loki’s presence. For being such a pride and arrogant person Loki was barely ever feeling offended. He didn’t care about being called an ass, a bastard, a liar or with whatever a person would come up. Trying to question his intelligence was a death sentence.

Right now Loki looked just blinked, seemingly confused. Okay, what the hell was going on here? Loki was never confused. Except when somebody mentioned reality TV, then he would go back raving about that humanity wasn’t worth the flesh they were made of. Anyway, what the fuck was going on here?!

“Why would you consider my question being stupid? I’m not familiar with a lot of Midgardian customs. The easiest way to understand is asking someone about it. So I did that.”

Now Clint was the one blinking. No, hell no. Loki couldn’t be serious. “Hold on for second. You are serious? You want me to explain to you how dating works? What the fuck?!”

Loki wasn’t fond of hearing him use profanity and pulled a face. “When I ask a question, I only do so, because I want to hear an answer. Yes. I wish to know about the Midgardian rules of courting.”

So many questions, so many things that Clint… probably didn’t want to know. Like why the hell Loki would want to know about dating. Or because of whom he wanted to know these things. Terrifying thought. Yet there was another thing that bothered Clint even more. “Uhm… okay, you are a crazy guy, so I won’t ask why the fuck you would want to know about that. Why do you ask me?! Ask Jarvis! Or google it!”

Judging by Loki’s face he thought those options were absolutely ridiculous. “I’m not going to ask a computer about human interaction and I don’t trust the internet. It’s full of lies and a place for insane people.”

“Right, you would feel at home. Try it.”

“Agent Barton, my request is quite simple. If you just explained it to me, I would be instantly gone and you could continue your target practice.”

Pinching his nose Clint took a deep breath, because he hadn’t signed up for this shit. Why would Loki asked that? Thor had managed to start a relationship with a human without ever asking about courting rituals. Well, truth to be told, Thor never asked any questions. “Why me? Can’t you bother someone else? The tower is full of people you could ask this.”

Loki shrugged casually. “Oh, I went over all the possibilities, believe me. Agent Romanov doesn’t make the impression she would care about having a relationship and even if she did, I doubt she would favour traditional ways of courting.”

Well, the insane person had a point. “Okay, ask Tony. He’s an expert.”

“In fornicating and whoring around, yes. He would quite feel at home in Asgard. I doubt he even knows about the proper ways to court another person. I would ask him if I wanted to know how to exchange body fluids with half of the population of this city as quickly as possible.”

Clint wouldn’t comment on that, but damn, Loki was right. “There is still…”

“The Captain should have asked that question himself, he definitely needs some help in this department. Doctor Banner barely feels at ease around his own friends. Believe me or not, but I do think you are the only person capable of explaining it to me.”

Was that a compliment? It kind of sounded like one. Or Loki was just insulting everyone else, same thing. Still, Clint didn’t feel at all inclined to talk with Loki about dating. On the other hand this was a stubborn son of a bitch, absolutely relentless. He wouldn’t leave Clint alone until he got what he wanted anyway. Sighing in defeat Clint made sure that Loki saw and heard how much he disliked the entire situation. “Fine. Whatever. I explain dating to you. Fuck, can’t believe what I’m saying… Where to start… It’s pretty simple. You like someone, you ask them out. Done. That’s it.”

Why was Loki still standing there? Why hadn’t he already left without saying thanks? Because Clint’s life sucked, of course.

“How?”

“How what?”

“How do you ask someone out?”

“What the fuck… you just ask them! What are you? 8 years old?”

Mistake. Loki started snarling. Never a good sign. “I’m much older, but I haven’t been born in this realm. I have no idea how these things work, what’s appropriate and what not. What might offend somebody or what might be considered charming. Asking someone out. How? How do you make your intentions clear? Where would be the appropriate place or doesn’t this matter at all? Alone? Have other people be present to witness it? How about gifts? Or the permission of the family?”

“Permission of… Good lord, what are you guys doing there in Asgard? Okay, looks like this is going to be a longer talk. Come on, I need alcohol to get through this. Insane guy who used to mind control people asks how dates work. I need to get a raise…”

Evidently Loki was so curious about this nonsense that he followed Clint without another word to the living room where Clint got himself a bottle from Natasha’s secret vodka stash. Yeah, she would kick his ass for that, but he wouldn’t be able to get through this without getting hammered. “So… how to ask somebody out on a date… lesson one. You don’t ask just a person who you don’t know. That’s just creepy, talk to them first. What were the things you asked? Right… No! No, you don’t ask them out when other people are around! That’s embarrassing and forget about the parents! You also don’t have to give the family a goat for their daughter if you want to marry her…”

Loki raised an eyebrow at that. “Why a goat?”

“Or a fucking elephant, forget the animals. You ask them when you’re alone and you don’t threaten to kill them if they say no.”

“No need to point out the obvious, Agent Barton.”

“But that should all be fucking obvious! You ask alone, the place isn’t that important… just don’t do it in a restroom or… come on, that’s also fucking obvious. Be nice. Say please, make compliments. Tell them they have nice eyes. Even if they don’t. Like I said – fucking obvious.”

To his surprise Loki nodded softly to show that he had understood what Clint had said. Too good to be true. Could he leave now? Please?

“Asking out. Whereto?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?! Did you and Tony agree to pull some fucking joke on me, because this isn’t funny!” Clint snorted, taking a sip from the vodka and Loki gave him that look. Like Clint was the crazy one. “The quicker you explain this to me, the quicker I can leave.”

This was just painful. “Fine… I don’t know where you would ask somebody out to! You do something that’s fun. Most people go to the movies or have dinner. You can go for a fucking hike if the other person is into it! It doesn’t fucking matter! Just don’t invite them to meet your parents the first time, that’s just weird. And don’t invite her to your place the first time! That’s a big no go! Do something that’s fun, like a hobby. But don’t do any creepy stuff. Don’t show her the bones of a child you use for your dark magic bullshit…”

Another mistake, now Loki was offended. “I do not own the bones of a child.”

“That was a guess. Okay… so that’s that. Any more questions? Why do I even ask, of course you have more questions.”

“This… first date and asking out seems rather liberal. Are there any rules on how to proceed? Or things that are considered a… no go?”

Loki was so awkwardly seriously interested and only now Clint came to realise that this couldn’t be mere curiosity. Yeah, Loki was constantly burying his nose in books to learn about earth’s history and traditions, but why the hell would he care about dating? Holy shit, the god of mind control was thinking about asking somebody out! Shit, that poor girl! At least Loki was planning on doing it the… Midgardian way and not just… magic her into dating him. Clint better came up with some useful advice, he didn’t want Loki to fuck up an innocent person.

“Uhm… okay…” First he needed another sip from the vodka though. What a delicious burn. “Rule number one… You never kiss someone on the first date. If you take them back to their home, you peck them on the cheek and then you leave. No kisses. If you kiss someone on the first date, that pretty much means you think they are a whore.” Maybe a bit harsh, but he was trying to protect someone here. It would be in everybody’s interest if Loki took it slow. Where did he meet a girl anyway? And… what kind of person did you have to be to make Loki interested in you? Another thing Clint wanted to know, but didn’t want to think about.

“This seems a bit harsh.”

“That’s how we roll here. You don’t like it, go back to Asgard.”

“I see. Proceed.” Loki made a little gesture, indicating Clint to continue and looking somehow fascinated. Well, Clint knew how to explain the most complicated things. “Good. Rule number 2… very similar to rule number 1. No sex before the third date. If you want to have sex before the third date that means you don’t believe it’s going to be something serious. And that you think the other one is a whore.”

Now Loki was frowning. “Why should I go out with somebody in the first place if I thought that they were a whore?”

“Because you don’t want to get into a relationship, but you want to get laid.”

“I see… but this seems rather time-consuming if all you want to do is have sex.”

Good point, but Clint couldn’t explain everything. “Yeah… rule number 3. If you like the other one and they like you… blablabla… coffee means sex.”

Loki opened his mouth, but no words came out. Wow, Clint had succeeded in making Loki speechless and it had been surprisingly easy. Hopefully Jarvis was recording this or nobody would ever believe him that any of this happened. “I’m afraid I don’t understand what this means.”

This called for more vodka. “Hell... have you never seen a single movie? It’s a code. If you think you know each other well enough, you are into each other and want to get it on… you asked the other one if they want to have coffee. It’s like asking if they want to sleep with you.”

There, Clint made it. He broke Loki. His face seemed frozen, a frown like craven into stone. Yeah, when Clint thought about it, the whole things also seemed weird to him and he hadn’t been born in another realm.

“How unnecessary. I don’t see why you would do that. If you want to engage in a physical relationship with someone, why not just telling them?”

Good question, really good question. “Because that would be considered rude. Hey, don’t look at me like that. You wanted to know about… Midgardian customs. This is how it works. You ask somebody out when you’re alone, you’re being nice. You go to the movies, you don’t kiss on the first date. No sex before the third date and when you want to get it on, you say you want coffee.”

Clint gave himself a mental pat on the shoulder, best explanation ever. If Loki hadn’t got the concept yet, then he was a hopeless case. For now all he did was narrowing his eyes, looking like he was thinking hard about what Clint had just said. Eventually Loki nodded and stood up. “I see. I must admit that most things seem rather odd, but I thank you for trying to explain it to me.”

“It was a pleasure.” Another sip from the vodka. “Oh, I forgot something. Flowers. Flowers are important.”

“Why?”

“Are you… They’re a gift. You like someone, you give them flowers.”

“Why? There is nothing you can use them for and they start withering instantly…”

“But they look pretty! Fuck it, forget about the flowers.” Getting up himself Clint felt a bit dizzy. Damned vodka. “I need something to eat. Go out and do whatever you want, now you know how it works.”

For some reason Loki decided to follow him to the kitchen, but Clint didn’t care. He was done with talking to Loki for today and Clint could be really good at ignoring people. The kitchen was already occupied by Tony who raised his head when both of them entered. “Hey, you’re too soon. I already ordered Chinese, but it’ll take half an hour.”

Fuck his timing. “Thor left any of the pop tarts?”

“No idea. I made some coffee though. You want some? Loki?”

Oh. Shit.

Quickly turning around Clint saw Loki staring wide-eyed at Tony and thought that he maybe should have been a little bit more precise during his explanations.

 ***

“What are we watching?” Clint sat down on the couch next to Natasha and propped his feet up on the little table in front of him. “12 angry men.”

Rolling his eyes Clint let out a sigh. “Is it Bruce’s turn again to choose the movie?”

“It is. Got a problem with it?”

Hell no, Clint didn’t want anybody to turn green here. It was a Saturday Night, all he was interested in was a cold beer and watching a movie. No villains, no world to save, he was having his day off. A shared sentiment among the Avengers, everybody was just hanging around, not in the mood to do anything. Even Wanda seemed uninterested in anything else than the TV. Tony was shoving popcorn into his mouth as usual, Steve looked like he was about to fall asleep and the annoying kid was… Huh. “Where’s the quick kid?”

Always a dangerous question to ask, but Pietro could pop up out of nowhere at any second. Just like Loki. Who also wasn’t here, but that wasn’t something new, Loki usually only complained about their choice of movies when he showed up. Could actually be a very entertaining and relaxing evening if all the guys who bothered Clint weren’t present. If he got somehow Tony to leave, then everything would be perfect. Maybe he should start a fire in his workshop…

“Pietro has a date. Unlike the rest of us he has an actual private life…” Wanda mumbled the words tiredly, sounding strangely bugged out about it.

“Hey! I do have a private life!” Tony sent her an offended look and Wanda simply reacted by indicating him to look around the room. Right, it was Saturday Night and they were all just sitting around, not in the best mood, not having anything better to do. Well, maybe they really didn’t have a private life…

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. Shut up, I’m trying to watch a movie.” Tony was pouting and Clint wanted to throw something at him. This was seriously starting to…

He never got to finish this thought, since he was suddenly and brutally yanked up from the couch. “What the fuck?!”

Fuck, he hated it when things happened too fast to see them, because that always meant that Pietro was involved. Pietro who had never looked this pissed off. Fucking scary, like he was about to kill someone. Clint. Why was this kid appearing out of nowhere and was grabbing him at his collar? This was ruining the entire evening. Oh, and now he was even yelling straight into his face. Just great. “What did you tell him?!”

All of the others also jumped up to their feet, slightly alarmed but not enough to instantly do something about the situation. Avenger yelling at another Avenger. Happened all the time. Usually with Loki and Tony. The latter had finally stopped munching popcorn. “Hey, Speedy Gonzales, let go!”

Pietro didn’t give a shit and his eyes seemed to be about to pop out off his skull, he was staring that intently at Clint, gritting his teeth. If Clint only knew what he had done to piss him off.

“You won’t see coming what’s going to hit you if you don’t tell me what you told him?!”

Natasha stepped up to him, keeping her cool like she did in every situation. Situations far worse than this. It was just Pietro after all. “Pietro, calm down and let Clint go.”

“I will after smashing his head if he doesn’t tell me right now!”

Okay, maybe now it was about time to get a little bit nervous.

Not Tony though, he was having fun. Asshole. Clint would definitely set fire in his workshop. “Wow, Pietro is evil again? Cool! I got a new suit that I want to try out!”

Clearing his throat Clint raised his hands, not yet trying to push Pietro away, that just might make him snap. Crazy people… had to be careful with those. “Everybody calm the fuck down! What did I tell who?”

“Loki!” Now that was unexpected. “What did you tell Loki that he wants to rip my head off although I didn’t do anything?!”

What the hell was this kid talking about? Clint never talked to Loki, he had no idea where Loki was and wasn’t the kid supposed to be on a date? “Loki… what… Oh… fuck.” Realisation came quickly and Clint thought he was about to throw up. No, not picturing it. Not now, not ever. He was so going to get another bottle of vodka to kill the part of his brain that produced the images in his mind.

While Clint was still busy thinking about that, Pietro started shaking him. “Tell me or I swear…”

Yeah, whatever. Clint was trying to wrap his head about something else than the way Pietro was about to kill him, “You and Loki are dating?! What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

Only now Captain Righteous wanted to save the day. “Clint, you’re not help-… What?!”

Exactly – What?! Was the appropriate reaction. First the bad guys turned nice and joined the Avengers, now they were also trying to date each other? What was about to come next?

“We were on our first date and he suddenly freaked out, because of some shit that you told him!” Pietro’s eyes were glowing dangerously and Clint started to remember one or two details that he had told Loki. It hadn’t been that bad. “Hey, I just explained him how dating works. Not my fault if you’re doing it wrong!”

“I’m going to kill…”

“Let go of him.”

Fan-fucking-tastic. Now Loki showed up to save Clint’s life. Also out of nowhere. Couldn’t those guys use doors or knock like decent people? What kind of sex life would that be if one was moving with the speed of light and the other one was able to teleport? Creepy.

“Loki! Great! This evening is finally getting fun.” Fuck Tony for wearing a grin on his face. Clint’s life was on the line here. “God, Tony, shut up!”

Pietro turned his head to look at Loki who mirrored his demeanour. They were both rocking that ‘Never has anyone ever been as pissed off as I am right now’ look. Ex-Super Villains in a really bad mood and one wanted to rip Clint’s throat open – what could possibly go wrong? “There, we’re all right here. Tell him that you were talking bullshit!”

Oh no, now that Loki was here, it was impossible for Thor to not also join the conversation. “Brother, why did I not know anything about Quicksilver courting you?”

Snarling Loki crossed his arms in front of his chest. “Because it is none of your business and there is no courting going on anyway.”

“Hey! I told you! I’m going to explain this! He is!” Clint was starting to feel dizzy now that Pietro started again to shake him. Ridiculous. “I still don’t know what the fuck is going on.”

Luckily Loki had no problems to explain the situation. “Pietro seems to think that I am a whore.”

Ah, right… Clint was dead.

“What?!”

Thor was roaring and raising his hammer. Okay, maybe Clint wasn’t dead. Pietro was dead. Thank god for overprotective big brothers. “You dare to disrespect my kin! I will…”

“Not move an inch closer to my kin or you will regret this!” Suddenly Wanda was blocking Thor’s way, waving her fingers, displaying a little bit of red magic and… seriously, couldn’t Pietro and Loki find someone else they wanted to date? This was a fucking big city!

“I don’t think you’re a…” When Loki only narrowed his eyes at Pietro, he stopped trying to explain himself and focused back on Clint. Damn. “Barton! I swear to god!”

Fine, they wanted him to say something, time to save his ass. “Let’s all just calm down and… talk this out. Uhm… Loki, what did he do to make you think that he thinks that you are… uhm… What happened?”

Unlike Pietro Loki was still somehow keeping his cool, his voice even and emotionless. Only his eyes were burning with rage. “He did the opposite of pretty much every rule you established.”

Tony actually clapped his hands squealed in excitement. God, Clint hated him. “I love this evening so much.”

Now even Bruce felt a need to let everybody hear his thoughts. Great. “Wait a second… you went for dating advice to Clint?! Are you crazy?! Wait… of course you are, my bad.”

At least the last part was true.

“What did you do to my brother?!”

“I do not fucking know! Barton won’t tell me!”

Clint had no fucking idea what was going on, but Loki was willing to explain it all. Not blinking an eyelid. “He didn’t give me flowers.”

No idea what shocked him more – Loki’s stupid comment about flowers or that Pietro let go of him, turning around, all attention fixed on Loki. “Why the hell should I give you flowers?! They are useless and they wither instantly…”

“Exactly, but those are the rules…”

Next to them Tony snorted. “Yeah, for girls…”

“Tony, shut your mouth.”

This whole deal was about the fucking flowers?! Didn’t Loki fucking listen to him?! “Didn’t I tell you to forget about the flowers? No? Forget about the flowers!”

Obviously Loki only got started and if Clint didn’t know better, he would say that he was feeling… offended? Disappointed?

“You did not compliment my eyes.”

Tony was having the time of his life, letting out a shocked gasp. “Son of a bitch! How could you!?”

“Tony, I swear…” Steve was pinching the bridge of his nose, probably asking himself what he had done to deserve this.

“Hey, come on, don’t tell me you’re not having fun with this too.”

While talking to Loki Pietro’s voice was now sounding entirely different. He was still annoyed, but it was clear that he wanted anything but pissing Loki off even more. “I told you that you’re hot and gorgeous that includes your fucking eyes! Which are gorgeous by the way.”

Loki’s lips twitched for a second, not smiling though. Instead he huffed. “Well, thank you… now you are trying to compliment the whore.”

So much about talking nicely to Loki. “I am not calling you a whore! Are you even listening to me!? Holy shit!”

“You tried to kiss me!”

Pietro threw his hands up into the air. “Yeah! So?”

Wonderful, Thor was raising his hammer again. Clint was going to hide behind the couch… and maybe use Tony as a human shield. “You tried to kiss my brother against this wishes?! I will…”

Wanda narrowed his eyes at him. “Stay away or I will send your mind to a realm filled with movie monsters!”

Fuck, that was indeed scary.

Ignoring their siblings Pietro and Loki were drilling holes through each other their eyes and Clint took a step back. He didn’t want to get caught up in all that sexual tension. “Against his wishes… You were totally into it!”

Well, now Loki was definitely feeling offended. “It was our first date!”

“Yeah! So?!”

“I know what that means!”

“I’m loving this so much… I think I’m going to start crying.” Clint liked living in the tower, but he definitely had to find a way to throw Tony out of his own house. Later, Pietro was again glaring at him. Oh, that was bad. “What the fucking hell did you tell him?!”

Come on, Clint, be a man and owe up to what you did. “Uhm… I might have told Loki that if you kiss somebody on the first date you pretty much expect them to be a slut.”

Slut was better than whore, right?

Tony bursts out laughing, Steve’s mouth dropped open and Natasha blinked. “Are you crazy or just stupid?”

“Hey, I thought he was about to ask some girl out, I didn’t want him to scare her off! I had no idea Pietro was taking him out!” Nobody here to understand that Clint had been trying to do a good thing? Typical.

At least now they were all staring at Loki. “You believed that?!”

“I asked a Midgardian to explain the rules of Midgardian courting. Why should I question his word?”

“Because he’s Clint and he’s fucking stupid.”

“Shut up, yeah!” If Clint was the stupid one here, why had Loki come to him and not to them? “Uhm, okay, Loki… I didn’t have all the information. I gave you the American rules for dating. Pietro is European. Completely different. They are way more liberal. They all kiss on the first date… has nothing to do with thinking the other one is a slut.” Yeah, that was a good excuse. Mental pat on the shoulder for himself.

Natasha started to rub her temples. Bad sign. Horribly bad sign. “Clint as a Russian I feel obligated to tell you to shut your mouth and to never open it again. Loki, everything Clint told you is stupid. And false. And offensive. Don’t ask him for advice. Ever again.”

“Pah and I actually thought that Loki was smart.”

Within seconds all the tension had left Loki’s body and that murderous gleaming was gone from his eyes. He looked rather confused. “So none of this is true?”

Thor wasn’t convinced yet. “You did not disrespect my brother?”

Pietro sighed heavily. “No, I didn’t! Now put the hammer down!”

Looking a bit sheepish, which was fucking scary because it was Loki, he took a step towards Pietro. “It seems I owe you an apology.”

For some reason Pietro only gave a dismissive wave with his hand. Before that cocky grin appeared on his face. “You owe me the second half of a date. Let’s start with that. Just to make one thing clear, I will kiss you again and if you go crazy on me for a second time… I’ll smack you across the head and kiss you some more.”

Clint was going to puke and Thor was about to protest. “You cannot…”

Loki hissed at Thor and then wickedly smiled at Pietro. “I do agree to your terms. Let’s go… and when we go back I will show Agent Barton how Asgardians react to being lied to.”

Fuck it, the next time somebody was going to ask Clint for advice, he would just trust his gut and walk away. Being altruistic and helping people only got him into trouble.


End file.
